by D’Elle Milton
Empaths have a bad rap. They are misunderstood, or worse, exploited. They take on pain and carry it for others, like the sin-eaters of the Appalachians. Empaths suffer in silence and sustain countless emotional traumas simply by being around people who are unaware of the energy they are projecting. It is agony for an Empath to go to a hospital or even a grocery store. The unconscious emotions and pain swirling around the energy field can cause an Empath to curl up around the pain, withdraw into their own haven of misery and simply absorb… until they are able to emerge again. Pain for them is caused by more than physical injury or emotional trauma. Lies hurt, betrayal can be deadly, and disappointment causes severe scarring. Years of experience thickens the skin of most people but not the Empath. They always remain baby soft and vulnerable so they must create their own version of protection for their very survival. Different cultures view those who are empathic as either weaklings or saints. For societies who view this ‘’gift” positively, to take on another’s pain is considered a benefit to the sufferer, as compared to sympathy which implies a certain distance and inherent superiority.
Being able to connect to and become one with the pain of another can sometimes relieve the immediate pressure for the one experiencing it. The great irony is that when the Empath takes on someone else’s pain, it neither heals the cause nor does it take away the ability of the one hurting to continue to access more pain so the cycle keeps expanding. The Empath takes on more pain, there is now more room for the one in pain to bring in more and the net result is that this act of ‘selfless kindness’ actually increases the amount of pain in the world.
Over the past 50 years or so, our culture has praised and celebrated the Empath as one form of “healer”. The metaphysical community in particular was quick to jump on board the “Me Too” train as more and more people began to claim the title of Empath. Some even began to train others to become more empathic.
*empathetic vs. empathic: Although the two words are essentially the same, the concept of empathy was introduced in the early 1900’s while empathetic is a newer (1932) derivation. The current distinction seems to center around empathetic being the ability to feel ‘with’ someone else as opposed to sympathy or feeling sorry ‘for’ someone while empathic implies the intention of taking on the pain of another in an effort to relieve it.
Sacred Witness is a concept that describes the act of holding space for another, without ego, judgment or agenda in order to allow the person hurting to do the necessary work to find healing and/or wholeness within themselves. The Sacred Witness provides an opportunity to access pure potential WITHOUT needing to take on the other’s pain or injury. The first step in moving in this direction is to recognize that the Empath does NOT lessen the pain or brokenness in another by taking it on themselves. Bitter pill…swallow.
Next, we must become our own Empath and ‘take on’ our wounds with acceptance, love and compassion. When we take responsibility for our own healing we may find tremendous resistance to stepping into a new place of wholeness. We no longer have the safety of failure to rely on for comfort. We can no longer claim incapacity or childhood trauma as an excuse to remain in dysfunction. But when we reclaim our own healing, we also declare our willingness and our ability to create a life of meaning and fulfillment, passion and purpose. Personal responsibility is an awesome power. We CAN change our life experience, but it is a choice.
Sacred Witness is a stance that is not easy to hold initially, but once it is fully understood and mastered, it allows every interaction to be mutually beneficial rather than one sided or sacrificial. The Empath in all of us will evolve into Sacred Witness as we move toward greater awareness of our inherent ability as conscious beings to create and sustain our moment to moment reality.
original artwork/image creator unknown
D’Elle Milton, a founding member of TR1BE global, is also a teacher, facilitator, and writer on meta-physical topics. Her extensive travels as a singer-songwriter has helped develop her vision for a truly expansive conscious community.vision for a expansive conscious community.