A DIFFERENT STREET
by D’Elle Milton
If we choose to remain in our old patterns once we realize the detrimental results or self-sabotage required to do so, we have essentially given up on ourselves. No amount of another's effort, faith, comfort or support will alter this behavior. Excuses abound and will always be readily available. Familiarity, safety, brokenness and just plain 'failure' are all wonderful caves of self-comfort available to those who choose to stay locked into their pain.
It is a valid choice . . . no one has the right to take that away from anyone else. Perhaps it is a karmic debt or retribution for past sins. Whatever our justification, we have the incredible ability to become self-righteous in our suffering.
The first steps out of our self-created hell can be the most difficult ever attempted. Breaking through the membrane of self-hatred and doubt takes strength and courage we may not choose to access. Whatever our decision, there is only the truth left at the center of our experience of life. That is the mirror we face at the moment of transition. When confronted with the various points of choice that were pivotal in the direction of the life we created, the moment of truth confronts us all.... I fell, I rose, I fell again.... the next step is either accept defeat or choose a different road.
Portia Nelson said it perfectly in her poem, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters:
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the street.
I fall in, I am lost . . . I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in . . . it's a habit . . . but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It's my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down a different street.
D’Elle Milton, a founding member of TR1BE global, is also a teacher, facilitator, and writer on meta-physical topics. Her extensive travels as a singer-songwriter has helped develop her vision for a truly expansive conscious community.
Evolving to Sacred Witness
Empaths have a bad rap. They are misunderstood, or worse, exploited . . . Over the past 50 years or so, our culture has praised and celebrated the Empath as one form of “healer” . . . Sacred Witness is a concept that describes the act of holding space for another, without ego, judgment or agenda . . .
by D’Elle Milton
Empaths have a bad rap. They are misunderstood, or worse, exploited. They take on pain and carry it for others, like the sin-eaters of the Appalachians. Empaths suffer in silence and sustain countless emotional traumas simply by being around people who are unaware of the energy they are projecting. It is agony for an Empath to go to a hospital or even a grocery store. The unconscious emotions and pain swirling around the energy field can cause an Empath to curl up around the pain, withdraw into their own haven of misery and simply absorb… until they are able to emerge again. Pain for them is caused by more than physical injury or emotional trauma. Lies hurt, betrayal can be deadly, and disappointment causes severe scarring. Years of experience thickens the skin of most people but not the Empath. They always remain baby soft and vulnerable so they must create their own version of protection for their very survival. Different cultures view those who are empathic as either weaklings or saints. For societies who view this ‘’gift” positively, to take on another’s pain is considered a benefit to the sufferer, as compared to sympathy which implies a certain distance and inherent superiority.
Being able to connect to and become one with the pain of another can sometimes relieve the immediate pressure for the one experiencing it. The great irony is that when the Empath takes on someone else’s pain, it neither heals the cause nor does it take away the ability of the one hurting to continue to access more pain so the cycle keeps expanding. The Empath takes on more pain, there is now more room for the one in pain to bring in more and the net result is that this act of ‘selfless kindness’ actually increases the amount of pain in the world.
Over the past 50 years or so, our culture has praised and celebrated the Empath as one form of “healer”. The metaphysical community in particular was quick to jump on board the “Me Too” train as more and more people began to claim the title of Empath. Some even began to train others to become more empathic.
*empathetic vs. empathic: Although the two words are essentially the same, the concept of empathy was introduced in the early 1900’s while empathetic is a newer (1932) derivation. The current distinction seems to center around empathetic being the ability to feel ‘with’ someone else as opposed to sympathy or feeling sorry ‘for’ someone while empathic implies the intention of taking on the pain of another in an effort to relieve it.
Sacred Witness is a concept that describes the act of holding space for another, without ego, judgment or agenda in order to allow the person hurting to do the necessary work to find healing and/or wholeness within themselves. The Sacred Witness provides an opportunity to access pure potential WITHOUT needing to take on the other’s pain or injury. The first step in moving in this direction is to recognize that the Empath does NOT lessen the pain or brokenness in another by taking it on themselves. Bitter pill…swallow.
Next, we must become our own Empath and ‘take on’ our wounds with acceptance, love and compassion. When we take responsibility for our own healing we may find tremendous resistance to stepping into a new place of wholeness. We no longer have the safety of failure to rely on for comfort. We can no longer claim incapacity or childhood trauma as an excuse to remain in dysfunction. But when we reclaim our own healing, we also declare our willingness and our ability to create a life of meaning and fulfillment, passion and purpose. Personal responsibility is an awesome power. We CAN change our life experience, but it is a choice.
Sacred Witness is a stance that is not easy to hold initially, but once it is fully understood and mastered, it allows every interaction to be mutually beneficial rather than one sided or sacrificial. The Empath in all of us will evolve into Sacred Witness as we move toward greater awareness of our inherent ability as conscious beings to create and sustain our moment to moment reality.
original artwork/image creator unknown
D’Elle Milton, a founding member of TR1BE global, is also a teacher, facilitator, and writer on meta-physical topics. Her extensive travels as a singer-songwriter has helped develop her vision for a truly expansive conscious community.vision for a expansive conscious community.
We Are Our Stories
We are our stories. We carve them in stone, we repeat them in our minds like a mantra, they become the fortress that is the "truth" of our life. We allow others to see us through the prism of our stories, told and repeated over decades. Indeed, this prism is the lens through which we see and understand ourselves. These stories, carefully packaged and ever ready to display, are borne throughout our existence. Yet in spite of new experiences offering us a depth and subtle shading to our perspective, our stories often remain frozen in the moment they were honed. Our understanding of the world is formed and reformed, but rarely do these self-defining stories change in the face of new experiences, new information.
The whole purpose of storytelling -- whether on a date, around the table with friends, or over the phone staying in touch with family -- is to help others understand how we think of ourselves and our place in this universe. Most of us have a catalog of stories that we go to for a given situation. These stories are the ones carved in stone. They reveal everything about us: where we're stuck, how we've evolved, our biases and desires. The epic stories we tell repeatedly: that Bad Relationship, the Unfair Divorce, that Life Changing Car Accident, of Graduating From College, or Why I Don't Talk to (fill in the blank) Anymore, are just stories frozen in time. Rarely do we bring them forward to examine in the light of new awareness, new perspectives, or evolved consciousness.
The downside of never reexamining the stories through a lens of hard-earned insights is that we remain forever in that fortress constructed from lower conscious beliefs. This realignment is a step beyond the exercise of recognizing the gift or lesson of a particular situation, or "seeing the pony," as one friend describes it. By tearing apart and rewriting a story that supports your awareness in this moment changes the way that you present yourself to yourself and, by extension, to the world. As we become aware of new ways of thinking (apropos of Maya Angelou's maxim, "When you know better, do better"), part of doing better is re-understanding our life stories with that new knowing.
In a recent conversation with a friend, an authentic and curious woman who firmly walks the path of awareness and higher consciousness, she told me a story about why she didn't get into Stanford and went to a UC school instead which, in her mind, was a tragedy. Her story described uninvolved parents, a (private) school advisor who unfairly wrote a mediocre recommendation letter, as well as a series of other unfortunate events that were supposedly out of her control. As we talked about the circumstances around her story called "Not Getting Into Stanford," which I had heard on several occasions, I asked questions with genuine curiosity. Her story telling was so completely at odds with her current state of consciousness, of taking full responsibility for her actions, that I was confused by it. When reminded of the principles that guide her day-to-day life, this carved-in-stone tale began to crumble. There was some resistance, some victim consciousness arose, but as she used her evolved awareness of how the universe works, she slowly began seeing and describing the event quite differently. Not only did the story change, she realized that where she went to school had been the best possible place for her. By releasing outdated versions of how she described her life, she allowed a forward momentum to take over and move her closer to her best self. She even reached out to the advisor on whom she had bestowed so much unfair angst over the years and apologized.
For many of us who have been on this planet for more than five decades, we have had ample opportunity for our consciousness to expand. Every experience we've had, and will have, is an opportunity to see the world, not through the blinders of ego and victimhood, but through a lens of empowerment and self-awareness. The stories you perpetually tell can either keep you frozen in place, in spite of hard work expanding your consciousness, or they can be re-written and re-understood in the light of awareness. It often is the missing stepstone that someone else needs as well.
The next time you are in meditation or quiet reflection, find one of those carved-in-stone stories. Think about what you know now that your younger self could not understand, what new information you can bring to that story to release it from the past and pull it into the now. This may be uncomfortable and sometimes painful because we are examining dissonance. If discomfort arises, use your breath to move through the physical and emotional sensations. See the feelings as you would thoughts during meditation. As they come into your awareness, recognize and then release them. As the release happens, see what thoughts appear that rewrite the story knowing that the only person that ever needs to hear the revised story is you.
It is often helpful after this exercise to journal the experience. Writing is the best way to make changes in your thinking and incorporate your new understanding of a past event.
The Giant Sequoias
A recent visit to the Mariposa Grove in Yosemite where the Giant Sequoias still stand, both touched and saddened me. They have existed for more than 2,000 years, weathering fires, earthquakes, logging, oblivious tourists, and who knows what else. Standing before these trees was humbling -- as humans we live an average of 70-90 years. But to these trees, that period of time is a fleck of dust floating by on a summer breeze. They have seen us, our parents, and grandparents come and go as these Giants stand in silent witness to history.
As I sat near these trees and listened for their voices, I felt dizzy with their enormity and dwarfed by what they have seen during their lifetime. If I could share a beer with anyone in history, the consciousness of a Giant Sequoia would be on the list. I sat quietly, picked up a low slow voice that may have been the tree, and felt some of what they felt with tourists scrambling around their roots. For me it was a memorable and touching half hour.
As tourists poured by me, phones in hand, I realized that they had a different agenda while standing before these enormous trees. It seemed their primary objective was to compose their social media photos to impress family and friends. At least one person in every group designated themselves as the director and when so ordered, the party struck their pose. These Giant Sequoias were only the backdrop for the photograph; completely absent was any sense of awe and respect for these Elders. From watching the streams of people moving past some of the most striking scenery, it seemed the purpose of vacations was about creating an enviable snapshot that trumped anyone else's vacation photos.
It appeared to me that the experience of being in Yosemite National Park had little to do with the immensity of nature, the hopeful connection to a reality that is not mediated through a television, iPhone, or other device. Today do we not feel a connection with the giant trees that drew them there from the park map or brochure? As long as the SnapChat or Facebook photo looks good, then all is good, and it's time to move along to the next photo op.
While enjoying Mariposa Grove, I reflected back to the 2017 nightmare of the Railroad Fire. This fire was unique -- it was unstoppable and uncontainable. Panicked residents threw a few belongings into their car and raced for safety. In modern times a natural disaster like this seemed inconceivable, and yet the fires unapologetically raged. Technology be damned, nature had her pound of flesh: 45 people died, more than 12,000 acres were scorched beyond recognition. But while most people fled and animals scattered, the trees were locked in place. Mariposa Grove within the Park's borders were mostly untouched. However, the inferno ravaged a stand of ancient, immense Sequoia trees in an area called Shadow of the Giants outside of Nelder Grove.
The Shadow of the Giants was one of those special semi-secret spots where Oakhurst locals knew to send their friends and family. It was a magical place with trees that literally spanned millennia. Since it was outside Yosemite, crowds were nonexistent. You could commune with and hug the trees to your heart's content. But to get there, you had to drive through a neighborhood and into the hills that led to the mountains. You had to know where to turn to find this hidden place. For the lucky few who did, WOW! The trees could have inspired one of J.R.R. Tolkien's stories; and if you were there for more than the photo op, you felt the magic that weaved a spell along the creek and through the grove. Lay your hands on the trees and they would speak, lean against them and they would lean back against you. You could glimpse how a being that lived 3,500 years might see the world.
But fire trumped time, cared not for antiquity, and raged through the stand of trees. Those who had been to that area couldn't believe the Giant Ones were gone, burnt beyond recovery.
Walking near the Shadow of the Giants now is like walking a Civil War battlefield. The dead are still present, their shells stand blackened and empty. In odd juxtaposition, wild flowers in epic bloom are running along the creek that fed the enormous trees. But the ancient ones are gone and sadness wraps my heart.
Out of my pocket I took a Sequoia seed cone that I had picked up in the Mariposa Grove and gave it a hopeful toss in the direction of the creek. It may not catch in the soil and may not become a seedling, a sapling, a Giant. But the seed cone of a Sequoia offers hope. Maybe, just maybe it will root, grow, reach for the sun and become like its predecessors. Life is ever hopeful, otherwise what is the point?
Thought Forms Matter
Thoughts form matter and thought-forms matter are inextricably intertwined.
The title of this blog can be read in a couple of ways – Thought-Forms Matter, meaning the thoughts, beliefs and imaginings of the mind are important because they have an impact on how we experience our life. These expressions of the mind create a vibration in our physical, spiritual and energetic body. For example, when remembering an experience that brought great joy, your blood pressure drops, your muscles relax and your outlook on the world is generally colored with warm feelings generated by those rosy contemplations. On the other hand, when we recall a traumatic event, an injury to our body or ego, this sends our physical state in the completely opposite direction—blood pressure rises, tension develops in our neck and shoulders; quickly our body moves from a contented state to a fight-or-flight state. Post-traumatic-stress syndrome is an extreme example of the way that remembered experiences impact our existence. In this way, thoughts are the critical element to how we create, understand and experience the world.
This expression also means, “Thought Forms Matter”, meaning our thoughts create objects and experiences in the physical world. The way our reality is constructed first came about through thoughts in people’s heads. Architects imagine a building before its construction; goal setting, and image boards are all examples of how we must first see it in our mind’s eye before it can be made real before our eyes. Thoughts are powerful because they literally generate the world in which we live; therefore, choose your thoughts carefully.
The movie The Secret explains that the path to manifesting is simply to imagine your desires, affirm them regularly, and they will appear. What the movie neglects to say is that all of your thoughts, sublime beliefs, and nagging anxieties to which you give your attention, create the reality in which you live. For example, on one hand you may attempt to manifest more money. You create the thought form of abundance, you affirm this thought form throughout your day, maybe you even create an image board decorated with photos of what abundance means to you. Accordingly, this ought to bring abundance wrapped in a pretty bow to rest upon your doorstep. Unfortunately, at the same time you are creating the new thought form of abundance, old thought forms of lack and scarcity from childhood still reside within you preventing abundance from manifesting. These ways of thinking or belief systems can be subtle but will block successful manifesting.
Another stumbling block to the way that our thoughts are expressed are our words choices. Think of words as the colors you use to paint your life. If your intention is to paint a romantic sunset over the ocean, you’re not going to use a lot of brown and black colors, right? In that same vein, if you want to create prosperity in your life, you wouldn’t use words that signify poverty. The most common way that we do this is by using the word “want”, which actually means ‘lacking’. The Benjamin Franklin proverb depicts it perfectly:
“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.”
Hold this in your mind the next time you attempt to manifest something because the vibration created by wanting is very low. It is one of scarcity and privation. So, when one states to the Universe, “I want more money”, the Universe believes you and supports you in this state of lack. A more powerful way to affirm abundance would be to express the gratitude for what already exists and from that point of gratitude, imagine what more abundance or prosperity looks like (a new house, car, job). Use your thoughts to paint a powerful picture of the world to which you aspire. From there, while holding the vibration of gratitude, describe those thoughts with words that support what you are trying to create. For example, “I am deeply grateful for all I have in my life and grateful for the ways that success and prosperity continue to grow.” Keep in mind that you can repeat this mantra a thousand times but if you are countering the positive affirmations with envy, want, or lack you are creating an internal battle you are destined to lose.
Thoughts form matter and thought-forms matter are inextricably intertwined. Your thoughts create a vibration in your physical body and that vibration is key to the physical creation of your reality. The most effective way to quickly change or enhance your vibration is to slow your mind, find authentic gratitude for your current experience and, from that place of gratitude, imagine and then give words (chosen wisely) to how you see your life unfolding.
Conscious Community
Conscious community … this bond between friends feeds our need for connection and belonging, offers comfort and creates a feeling of invincibility – there is comfort in knowing that no matter what comes your way, your people have your back.
The beauty of being part of a true Conscious Community is that it raises the bar for how you move through the world.
by Virginia Eaton
You know that feeling when you’re with those friends who are your tribe? The laughter flows and conversation is in shorthand because of the breadth of your shared experiences. Most people have had this experience at some point: sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s co-workers, but often it is a random collection of people with whom your soul jives. This bond between friends feeds our need for connection and belonging, offers comfort and creates a feeling of invincibility – there is comfort in knowing that no matter what comes your way, your people have your back. Chick flicks like Book Club, Me Before You, and 50-First Dates all have this tribal quality, and sense of connection that is one reason this story genre tends to draw viewers.
When you take that strong connection among a group of people then elevate it, you give it a focus that embodies the sentiment “Be the Change You Want to See in the World.” You’ve then created a potentially magical experience - a Conscious Community. A conscious community has a little more structure than a tight group of friends and has an explicit raison d’etre. There are often spoken and unspoken expectations that maintain the community’s integrity. Regardless of the purpose, the community as a whole will always be operating from a heart-centered place. Sometimes the rules are around the food that is eaten, or the type of clothes worn. Sometimes it’s just an agreement that when we are together the cell phones go away, we don’t waste time on gossip, and every member actively supports what is best for the other.
The beauty of being part of a true Conscious Community is that it raises the bar for how you move through the world. It embodies the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” When traveling, dining or socializing members operating on this principle pull random people into their orbit in a “I’ll have what she’s having” sort of way. I’ve been to countless restaurants, high end as well as casual, and as the conversation develops with excitement and enthusiasm, I’ve seen people leaning in as they tried to figure out what the hullabaloo was about. On more than one occasion, people stopped by the table not really sure why, they only knew they felt a pull, a desire for connection. That’s when you know the group is on the right track- that elevated vibe attracts those looking for something more.
Relating from the heart center does not preclude disagreements, however. A mature conscious community understands that disagreements between members or from external sources are natural and necessary to refine the community’s identity and, when guided correctly, allow each member to contribute to clarifying the group’s uniqueness, increase ownership, and solidify purpose. When a community is operating well, the group reminds individuals that having our buttons pushed offers a growth opportunity. It is a chance to understand lifetime patterns that keep us operating in reaction mode rather than proactive mode and support moving through to a higher plane.
You know you are part of a conscious community when:
Cell phones and other technology play a very small part in how you relate to each other.
There is a need among the members to make the world a better place.
When you gather, the talk is about ideas of creation not destruction.
In every experience there is the attempt to find the joy that exists next to the sadness, and to see lessons or opportunities for growth even when it feels like the world is tumbling to ruins.
Gatherings often include creative expressions—cooking, art, music, etc.
The experiences the group chooses require mindfulness and a fully present state of mind rather than being distracted by what to make for dinner or, “Did the DVR record my show?”
The group has a holistic approach to health: the food that is eaten, the water that is consumed and the role electronic media plays in our life.
Their approach to wellness vs illness is expanded to understand that there are many ways to address the state of body, mind and spirit, and standard medical care, while appropriate in some situations, is not a panacea.
If you are looking for a conscious community look around, one exists. We often are not aware of these things until we become ready to be involved. One Tribe Global is a conscious community that is connecting conscious people and ideas and opportunities to enhance the mountain community and far beyond. Come join us!
